I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
