Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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