ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
