That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
