How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
