also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
