Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
