We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
