haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
