Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
