Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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