The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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