remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
