I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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