Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
