bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
