Me too!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
