um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
