Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
