The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize