Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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