like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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