My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
