Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I skipped work to stalk him.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
