What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
