Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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