there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize