; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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