i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
last night I used snow as a chaser
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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