So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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