i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize