try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize