Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
