Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
