where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
