I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
