You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
