That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize