hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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