My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We are two peas in an std pod
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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