Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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