You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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