I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize