So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
