i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
