I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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