yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
