Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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