69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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