Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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