hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
