This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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