my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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