just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Drake has all the answers
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
