Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
