Only a mothe r could love this liver
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
