Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
