quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
