she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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