none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love you. Go after that dick
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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