please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
