She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Damn victory sex feels great
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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