I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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