People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize