we're blogging at a bar
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
