hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
