if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
either way he was missing a nipple.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize