so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
