I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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