i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
