Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
