At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
