Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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