at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize