Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
