You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
