The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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