If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
