Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
