Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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