a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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