My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
